The Art of Not Giving Advice: Why SFBT Trusts You to Find the Answers
When people come to therapy, they’re often overwhelmed, stuck, or looking for guidance. Many expect a therapist to act like a mentor or expert — someone who gives advice, diagnoses the problem, and tells them what to do next.
But in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), the approach is very different. Instead of offering solutions, the therapist asks questions. Instead of analyzing the past, the focus is on what’s already working. And perhaps most importantly: your therapist doesn’t give you advice.
This may seem surprising, even frustrating at first. But behind this simple approach is a powerful belief:
You already have the answers.
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Why SFBT Doesn’t Rely on Giving Advice
SFBT is based on the idea that people are resourceful, even when they feel stuck. Life may be hard, and problems may feel overwhelming — but somewhere within you is already the strength, knowledge, and experience needed to move forward.
In traditional therapy, the therapist often plays the role of expert. In SFBT, the therapist is more like a curious companion. Instead of offering strategies or interpreting your story, they ask questions designed to help you uncover your own solutions.
Why? Because solutions that come from within are often more meaningful, more sustainable, and more empowering.
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What Makes This Approach So Effective?
1. You’re the Expert on Your Life
No one knows your thoughts, values, goals, and experiences better than you. An outsider might offer general advice — but that advice might not fit your unique situation.
SFBT trusts that you are the expert, and the therapist’s role is to help you access your own wisdom.
“What’s worked for you in the past?”
“When was the last time this problem wasn’t as bad?”
“What would be different if things were a little better tomorrow?”
These questions don’t give answers. They help you find them.
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2. Advice Can Create Dependence
When therapy centers around advice-giving, clients may become dependent on their therapist for direction. That may feel helpful in the short term — but it can prevent real growth and confidence in the long run.
SFBT encourages independence by focusing on your strengths, choices, and goals. It helps build a sense of agency — the belief that you can make change happen in your life.
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3. Your Goals Matter More Than the Therapist’s Ideas
In SFBT, the client defines the goals. The therapist doesn’t set the agenda or tell you what’s “best” — they simply help you move toward what you want, not what someone else thinks you should want.
This keeps therapy goal-oriented, respectful, and personal.
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What You Can Expect Instead of Advice
In an SFBT session, you won’t get long interpretations or advice lists. Instead, you’ll get:
• Future-focused questions like “What will be different when this problem is solved?”
• Exception questions like “When is the problem not happening — and what’s different then?”
• Scaling questions like “On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you now — and what would move you up one point?”
• Empowering reflections that reinforce your progress and strengths.
These tools aren’t shortcuts. They’re strategic. They help you discover what’s already working and build on it — often faster than you expect.
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Final Thoughts
Not giving advice doesn’t mean a therapist isn’t helping. In Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, it means they’re trusting you — not because they’re unwilling to guide you, but because they believe you already have the seeds of the answer.
Therapy, in this way, becomes less about solving problems and more about activating your potential.
And often, when you’re heard without judgment, encouraged without control, and asked the right questions — you begin to uncover your own way forward.
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